Carlin--A Star Bar Tribute

George Carlin was the elder statesmen of anti-authoritarianism.

The Star Bar hosts the most anti-authoritarian comedy night in Atlanta. (For good and ill.)

Hence, this localized appreciation:

Summer in Little Five Points

Still been busy. But here's a warts-and-all set from a couple weeks ago at the Star Bar.

I did a full 8 minutes and got paid 50 bucks. My career has peaked.

Daryll Dexter--Associated Press Correspondent

From the AP: Stranded scuba divers stave off Komodo dragon.

Now an interview with reporter Daryll Dexter:

We're fortunate to have with us the AP reporter for this Komodo Dragon story Dr. Daryll Dexter. And Doctor, I understand there was some kind of incident involving a Komodo dragon. Would you tell us about this incident involving a Komodo dragon, please?

JAKARTA, Indonesia - A group of European scuba divers swept away in strong currents scrambled onto a remote Indonesian island only to face another threat: a Komodo dragon.

A port official said Sunday the divers from Britain, France and Sweden were able to scare off the giant lizard by pelting it with rocks and pieces of wood.

So where did this incident take place?

JAKARTA, Indonesia. It seems a group of European scuba divers swept away in strong currents scrambled onto a remote Indonesian island only to face another threat: a Komodo dragon.

The port official said Komodo dragons often come out when they smell something new, including humans, whom they've been known to kill.

Now I read somewhere that many lizard have a sense of smell. Do Komodo dragons smell?

Komodo dragons often come out when they smell something new, including humans, whom they've been known to kill.

But they’re not dangerous to humans, correct?

They have been know to kill humans. Fortunately these divers from Britain, France and Sweden were able to scare off the giant lizard by pelting it with rocks and pieces of wood.

The five divers were swept away by treacherous currents after plunging into the water from their wooden boat on Thursday afternoon. They hit shore 12 hours later, after drifting 20 miles in shark-infested waters.

And you say the Komodo dragon is native to Britain and France?

The Komodo dragon is found in Indonesia. This incident took place on the remote island of Rinca before the divers were rescued.

Well I think we’ve pretty much exhausted the subject. Thank you Dr. Dexter.

The Bob and Ray Sketch.

Scroll Down for an Audio version.

Stag-Felation

I was at a party one night in the back room of Studio 54 watching iconic 1970s movie star Steve McQueen do a line of coke off Playboy Playmate Dorothy Stratten's breasts. I said to him “Ya know, I can’t help but wonder if all this 70s hedonism isn’t just a desperate attempt by guilt-stricken Americans to forget about the tragedy of Vietnam.”

Steve said, “Hey, if Nixon had gotten laid and LBJ had gotten high, we never would have stayed in Vietnam. ‘Course, then the Soviets would have invaded, we’d all be too high to notice and you and I would be in a reeducation camp right now. But besides, that’s what Jimmy Carter is for. With a devout Christian as president—one who believes in God and human rights and never lies—the rest of the country can fuck its brains out and not feel guilty.”

Back then everyone found a way to defend any kind of decadence. That night the Studio screened an underground bestiality film that claimed to have a social message. It was called Stag-Felation and involved someone in a Spiro Agnew mask with a shirt that said “Will Natter Your Nabob for Hey” attempting to felate an unbroken stallion while interstitials of swirling newspaper headlines blared “Wages and Employment Drop!” Thus a cheap animal exploitation act became an economic metaphor for the times.

At the end of the decade, Steve got cancer and went down to Mexico to try and cure it with coffee enemas. Imagine, the star of Bullitt taking a cappuccino up the ass. Dorothy was soon killed by her estranged husband—a guy so obsessed with celebrity and nightlife he couldn’t stand the idea of being left off the list. She was only 20. But hey, at least for a couple years in her brief, tragic life she was really stacked. And who knows, there may be no finer existentialist gesture.

Keep on truckin'.